So many people have asked how I felt as I approached my thirtieth birthday. I think most expect you to feel mildly panicked at the thought of exiting your twenties, as if the big 30 resembles a list of things you feel you should have done and become already. I know when I was growing up I thought of thirty as old. In my head thirty-year-olds were married with kids, a proper job, a home, a car, bills to pay and had life pretty figured out. Although I technically have most of those things (but still a lot to figure out), I don’t necessarily feel that different to how I did when I turned twenty. As I approach my next decade I don’t feel the rumblings of an impending quarter or mid-life crisis. What I do feel is overwhelming gratitude.
My twenties were by no means easy, or simple. I don’t think that’s what your twenties are meant to be. If you’ve made it through your twenties without falling in love, having your heart broken, navigating grief or depression, feeling completely lost, having a breakdown or personal crisis of sorts, or making a huge life change then have you even lived through your twenties? If I had to pick two words to describe my twenties they would be faith and adventure. Faith because I feel like that’s one of the biggest pillars that have guided me through the past decade. I never always knew what I was doing, but somehow I always believed that everything was going to turn out okay and that somehow life was always guiding me in the best direction. Adventure because that’s exactly what it’s been in every sense of the word.
My twenties have been a decade I’ll truly never forget and will always look back on with such sentiment. It pulled and pushed me in directions I had never been. It broke me down and built me back up. It led me so far from myself so that I could finally navigate the path back to who I truly was. It broke my heart but also gave me more love than I ever expected. It pushed me to so many limits I had created for myself and watched as those limits moved out further. I’m walking out of my twenties knowing who I am and encapsulating that in a way I couldn’t have dreamed of when this decade started out.
As I take stock of my life before my thirtieth birthday, all I see is blessings. So many of the people sitting around my table today came into my life during my twenties. From my best friends to my husband and now my beautiful baby boy, these people have been like treasures scattered throughout the years for me to find, and with them some of the best memories of my life have been shared.
I don’t feel sad saying goodbye to twenty. I’m so excited to see what thirty has in store. I’m excited to meet who I am going to become, and to carry on navigating life with the same faith and adventurous spirit that I did in my twenties. I can’t wait to see what lessons life has in store for me, and what memories and moments I’m hopefully lucky enough to experience.
On my 40th birthday I hope I look back on this blog post and marvel at how much goodness I had no idea was still in store for me. I hope that I will have remembered to hold my loved ones close and to treasure the small moments that seem to pass all too quickly. I hope that I will have continued to roam outside of my comfort zone and done enough to follow the voice within, whichever direction she points me in. I hope that I still have so many wonderful people surrounding me. I hope that I’ll be proud of how my life looks, and of who I become. And most of all, I hope I’m here to ring in the decade after this one, because life is the ultimate gift and one that passes all too quickly.
Xx