We live in a busy society. From the moment we wake up to the moment we go to bed it can seem as if we’re on a non-stop run to the finish line…which would be great IF we knew where the finish line even was. But we don’t know, because there isn’t one, and so we just keep on running. Productivity has become a way of life.
With so much to get done and so many different sections of our life’s garden that need tending to and watering, we have started to take pride in the doing, and not so much in the standing back and admiring just how beautiful our garden is.
In a world where we’re trained to believe we can and should have it all, we’ve forgotten about how much work it all really is. Our day has become centered around how much we can squeeze into our waking hours, and we dream of the to-do list for tomorrow. Our productivity has become intertwined with our self-worth and the more we can accomplish and achieve, the more worthy we seem to feel.
Recently I had an emotional moment. Since going back to work full-time I’ve been struggling to find the time to commit to all the soul-filling activities that I filled my life with during lockdown. I haven’t been writing or blogging much, I’ve fallen out of my workout routine, I can’t seem to find quiet, peaceful spaces within myself during the week ,and for the first time in a long time I feel stressed about how much is on my plate. I got home from work and decided to commit a portion of my evening to blogging. Even though it may not have been the right thing for me that day, I forced myself into this activity and when my laptop decided to throw curveball after curveball my way, I shut it closed. I felt defeated, frustrated, and like a failure because I hadn’t been able to accomplish this task I had set for myself. An activity that had become part of my life due to pure love and joy had all of a sudden transformed into something that made me feel stressed and guilty because I just wasn’t finding the right time to dedicate to it.
It’s times like these where I’m especially thankful for Kyle and the conscious partnership we’ve cultivated. He pointed out how I’m trying to do these activities in order to full my cup, but the way in which I’m going about them is just further breeding an environment of stress. The things that re-energize me like blogging, painting, gardening, and working out, don’t benefit me because I do them, but because of my mindset whilst doing them. Peace comes into our lives not through achievement and productivity, but through doing something lovingly and mindfully.
This got me thinking on the way our need to be productive challenges, and at time inhibits our ability to achieve peace within ourselves in our everyday life. The purpose of going on holiday is usually to slow down, escape responsibility and force ourselves into a state of relaxation by not being productive. But how do we balance peace and productivity in the 99% of our lives where we’re not on a fabulous getaway trying to escape ourselves? How can we really have it all, including peace? My truth is that we can’t. Not the “all” that society has defined for us anyways. We cannot do it all, have it all, be it all, and still be peaceful. Something has to give. We have to start redefining what the “all” means to us.
Peace comes not by perfection, but by creating and allowing enough space in our lives for us to move a little slower, live a little more intentionally, breathe a little deeper, and most importantly, to allow ourselves the luxury of freedom outside of our need to be productive.
A life of productivity is a life of SHOULD. A life of peace is a life of WANT. I want to paint vs. I should paint. I want to go for a run vs. I should go for a run. We can’t give ourselves enough wants when our time is being dictated by shoulds.
So what does having it all look like to you at your core, when you forget about what you’ve been trained to believe about the way life should look? What are the things that you want to prioritize in your life that truly add to your life experience instead of creating additional anxiety? The more I think about it the more I see that living a happy, peaceful, slow and intentional life IS having it all, no matter how many things you get ticked off your to-do list.
This productivity/peace balancing act is one I’ve really battled with these past few months as life has gotten increasingly fuller and busier and I’ve fought to hold onto all the things I should be doing more regularly. I thrive off productivity and battle to do nothing and rest. But maybe this season is one for new lessons and new reminders on how to live a little slower, and fill life with a little more wants.
How do you balance peace and productivity in your life?
xx