Emotions come and go like waves; ever-changing and an endless cycle of ebb and flow. Although we experience these emotional shifts in our regular lives, the amount of space that lockdown has created in our lives has given way for these waves to be experienced more intensely, and the grief, anxiety and uncertainty that has come with this time of life has made the ebbs and flows even more noticeable.
The emotional wave consists of peaks and troughs, just like a wave in the ocean. At its peak we feel happy and full of life – we’re at our best and life feels easy! But peaks can’t last forever and after a period of time we’ll inevitably shift into the trough of the wave – the low point. In the trough we feel down, flat, uninspired and unmotivated. We may feel the need to pull back into ourselves and rest. We’re feeling low and the world may seem dull. But just like the peak, the trough can’t last forever either and eventually we will start moving back into an emotional peak.
What the emotional wave teaches us is that being on the peak or in the trough is completely normal. We can’t have one without the other. It also teaches us that nothing is constant and that no matter where you are on the wave, you know to expect shifts and changes, none of which will ever be constant even if you feel like you’re in a real dip.
I feel myself moving through these cycles all the time and while I’ve been in lockdown I have felt periods of complete inspiration and motivation, and then periods of grief and lack of energy or zest for life. Just because these emotional troughs are to be expected doesn’t make them any easier to deal with. Here are some ways to look after yourself when you find yourself struggling in a trough:
Accept how you’re feeling: Try not fight against where you’re at and the emotions that you’re experiencing. Beating yourself up about it and telling yourself all the ways you “should” be feeling is only going to flood you with shame and guilt for just not being there. Remind yourself that these dips are completely normal and are inevitable, and you’re allowed to feel the way you do. Accept that for whatever reason you’re in an emotional dip and choose to rather practice self-care instead of self-judgement.
Be honest with your loved ones: Part of looking after yourself during this time is letting your loved ones know that you’re feeling low. It can be difficult to be vulnerable with others, but being open with them is an important step in owning your truth. By letting your loved ones know that you’re feeling tired/sad/unmotivated/anti-social etc. you’re giving them a heads up about the amount of energy you have available for them, and it gives them guidance on what you might be needing help with for the next few days or weeks, depending on how long the trough lasts. This honesty also helps others to not internalize your emotional state or wonder if its their fault, which helps them better handle their own emotions.
Listen to your body: Tap into your inner knowing and listen to what your body is really needing right now. Maybe instead of your usual run or high intensity workout you’re needing a lighter form of exercise or some stretching. Maybe you’re needing to rest instead, that’s okay too. What food is your body needing (try look past emotional eating cues)? Do you have energy for that zoom date with your friend or are you needing some time alone? Stop forcing yourself to do the things you think you should be doing, or the things you would usually have energy for when you’re at an emotional peak. Realign your expectations of yourself and really try to give yourself what you’re needing to optimize your well-being.
Spend time in nature: Get outside and get some fresh air into your lungs. Even if it’s a walk around your neighborhood or just sitting on a park bench for a while. If you can, try walk barefooted on the grass or soil (any natural surface) – this is known as ‘earthing’ or ‘grounding’. When we earth, our bodies soak up the negatively-charged electrons from the ground. It has proven health benefits such as improving sleep, reducing stress levels, reducing inflammation in the body, and improving our immunity. Connecting with nature also helps us to feel more centered and happier which might help you cope with your dip a little better.
Make time to do things that make you happy: Although you can’t force yourself out of a dip, you can try to bring moments of joy into your life by doing things that make you happy. You might not have the energy to do the things you would at your peak, but you can find small things to do to bring lightness into your day. Whether it’s reading a great book, painting, watching that movie you’ve been meaning to for ages, or doing some gardening. Whatever is feeling good to you right now – do that.
Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness helps us to truly feel the emotions we’re experiencing. Often, when we try avoid something it only becomes stronger as it begs for our attention. Mindfulness helps us get out of our heads and into our bodies, and allows us to become more aware of ourselves and life around us. Feel where the emotion is sitting in your body – what does it feel like? Notice what thoughts are coming into your head during the day – are these true? Are they kind?
Most of all, remember that this too shall pass. You’re not alone in feeling low and the only thing you can truly do during this time is to look after yourself the way you’re needing. If you think your trough might be more severe and you’re worried that you might be depressed, there is no shame in seeking out professional support either – only you know what you need and you need to trust yourself to make decisions surrounding your wellness.
xx